lilphatkat

Well I cant say what i have been up to the last few weeks, not really anything.  I decided it was really time for action.  I decided i needed to be around ppl in the same boat for motivation.  I went back to weightwatchers for two reasons, one the meetings for motivation and support, and two having to journal what i eat and water intake keeps me accountable for my actions.  I really need to do it this time, no joke.  This week im going to mostly journal my normal eating patterns, just to see how bad it is.  Wish me good luck LOL

So they did indeed diagnosis me with diabetes this week, didnt really hit me how serious that is til today.  This really brings the focus of getting back to a healthy weight very important to me.  I have been pretty good, and with the medication it seems my blood sugar is ok so far.  I keep getting the urges to go get a bag a sour patch kids or a “really like it” size ice cream from Cold Stone.  Boyfriend was nice and brought me home some sugar free candy, I have been sick for a week so Im still trying to figure out what works for me, i.e. when i should eat and exercise.  I tried working out on Thursday but ended up feeling really weak and dizy, I think my body just needs some more time for the beds.  I have not weighed myself this week, so going to do so today and try to work on the water!!

So I have been sick since last week, out of work, possibly going to lose my job.  They dont know what is wrong with me, they tell me I probably have type two diabetes, and then they tell me my blood sugar is only really high because I am sick.  What is really going on, this will be five days I have missed of work, and Im still so exhausted. Grrr, and even though I have been sick, I dont think I have lost any. Oh well

Well I am starting out again, I have gained so much weight it is really starting to scare me.  I am scared for my health and for the career I am going into to.  I have to be in pretty decent shape for my job, otherwise I will get run down quick.  I am also starting to go to hypnosis again, Positive changes, its alot of money but proven to work.  My mom did it and lost 70 pounds almost easily.  I just have to listen to my tapes at least twice a day.  They help me sleep better to, and its a great destresser.  My sister and I seem to be competing for weight-loss, though not in the healthy positive way.  My mom tells me yesterday, “oh ya Mel is down under 200, when she used to weight more than me just a couple of months ago”.  Makes me want to starve myself, but then no I go out to dinner and binge.  Ugh, so I am trying to feel positive about this new beginning.  I really think I need to find a buddy that is in the same boat as I am.  I think friends with the same goal in mind, make achieving that goal so much easier. 

Day One